News flash:

I am no longer going to Italy in November.

This morning during Church, Carl Ericson talked about the nation of Israel, and their fear of giants, and how that kept them from taking the promised land, resulting in 40 years of wandering in the dessert. He asked, "What fears are keeping you from obeying God?"

Immediately, God brought to mind some very specific direction that He gave me back in February that I haven't obeyed, and then showed me the fears that have kept me from obedience. I'm afraid of unknowns, and afraid of failure, and afraid of what others will think of my work. So instead of confronting those fears and overcoming them in obedience, I usually give into them, and disobey God.

When I was in Thailand, God directed me to focus this year on building my business, and, specifically, to build my website. I haven't done it yet. I've been "too busy" with other things (including lots of traveling) to actually walk it out. And I realized, sitting there during the sermon, that if I go to Italy next month, I will continue to walk in disobedience, because I won't start work on my website until January, at the earliest.

I've wondered before about the timing of this trip, whether I should really go now. Up to this point, I haven't been willing to say, "No, I'm not supposed to go," because, again, I'm afraid of what others will think of me. I've talked about Europe all year long, and planned on Italy for three months now. To say, "I'm not going" seems so... fickle to me. But I want to know God, and I want my heart fixed on obedience to His will, regardless of how that looks. So I'm not going to Italy. I'm staying at home.

God has given me an ever-increasing desire to invest in people here, in my local community, to build more home-based friendships (instead of the many long-distance friendships that I have), and to serve within my Church. I feel I need to obey God's current direction before jumping into something new.

Thanks to all of you for your warm response to my trip, and for being so willing to pray for me in this adventure. I'm currently exploring options for a trip to Italy next Spring or Summer instead, doing the same things as before. We'll see where God leads on that one. Please continue to pray for me as I obey God in building my website and focusing on business, relationships, and ministry at home this fall.

It's hard to walk in obedience. It's hard to step out in faith. But if God is in it (and I know that He's in this), then I won't ever regret it.