2008

I just finished reading through 2008 in my journals. I am amazed by God. I forgot who I used to be and how much I've changed and grown. God is greater. His Word is more precious. My family relationships are sweeter. My friendships are more Christ-centered. I am so excited for 2009!

Five or six years ago around this time, my pastor sent our Church an e-mail, encouraging us to set wise goals for the upcoming year. He included in it a list of questions by Donald S. Whitney, written to urge believers to reflect on their walk with God, to "stop, look up, and get our bearings" at the start of the year. One question has had a tremendous impact on my life: What is the most humanly thing you will ask God to do this year?
(click here for the full list of questions)

In 2008 I asked God to make me a woman of prayer. He answered this request through some incredible, and very painful, situations.

I learned that I don't know myself; that I cannot discern my own heart or its desires. So I joyfully accept whatever God placed in my path.

I learned to "take a complacency in God," and allow Him to pursue me.

I learned to allow the Holy Spirit to guide me through my feelings because I cannot navigate them (I have a mental picture of being guided through a school of jellyfish, just like Marlin and Dorrie in Finding Nemo. Yeah, so I'm visual like that.).

I learned that if I know my God, I know my story's ending well enough.

I learned the importance of the Gospel in my life as a believer; that the source of all beauty-- and the only thing that redeems horror and pain into glory and might-- is the Gospel.

I learned to obey when I don't understand, and to trust the God that knows all things. "Certainty is the mark of the common-sense life: gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life... We are uncertain of our next step, but we are certain of God." My Utmost for His Highest

I learned that God is greater than my heart; that when God owns my heart, He claims the right to turn it in whatever direction He chooses, even if it hurts, or it's outside of my comfort zone.

2008 was full of good things, great memories, amazing people, and experiences that I wouldn't trade for the world. God led me through pain and impossibilities to further joy and confidence in His ability to guide and direct my life. I can't wait to see what 2009 looks like.

This year I've asked God to give me His eyes and His heart. I want to see Him the way He sees Himself, and to love Him the way He loves Himself. I want to see myself and love myself the way Christ sees and loves me. And then I want to see others and love others the way my Father sees them and loves them. I think this will be a year of even greater change. And I cannot wait!