Bookstore thoughts

"You think we ever weary of beauty?" The words of Ann Voskamp sink deep. I stumbled upon her blog today for the first time. They strike chords inside of me, past the places that I know, deeper than the depths of my soul.

She goes on, "... what if our lives seem... grey. Or... Overwhelmed. Crazy. Doesn't beauty somewhere else then just... wound? Doesn't beauty found elsewhere just magnify the barrenness of where He has you? Doesn't beauty hurt?"

Her questions resonate, and I feel that hurt. Questions because of God's blessing in other peoples' lives, when it feels like those blessings are withheld in my own. Questions about God's work, and confusion about where I am and where I'm headed.

"Don't you think beauty's everywhere?" Ann continues, "God's everywhere... so beauty must be... [and] He makes all experiences holy."

Focus on His beauty, not on my perception of His work, or my current understanding of my circumstances.

In today's blog post, Ann says, "The true artist enters into work of Father and makes the ordinary material of the world new."

There's a huge change that comes with this perspective on life. I'm pondering those mental changes as I sit in a red leather chair in The Griffin, staring at bookshelves full of science and philosophy books, listening to Norah Jones' soothing voice crone out words in the next room.

I'm thinking about the choice to look for God's daily pictures of grace in my life, instead of pining for what I think I want. I'm thinking about how discipline breeds humility, and how much I need both. I'm thinking about a conversation with a friend last night, and the reminder of the ways that God courts and pursues my heart.

Change has come, inside of me.