Sunday, June 21, 2009

Today I am home

After four weeks of crazy coming and going, I am finally home. Just for the weekend, but home nonetheless. In less than 36 hours, I enjoyed near-death hugs from siblings and heart-to-hearts with my parents, drank good coffee, danced around fireworks with my siblings like a crazy person, slept long and deep, and spent extended time alone with God.

These are things that make me smile, and draw my heart back home whenever I am away.

And since arriving home, I found a gun in the kitchen pantry, a miniature meat cleaver in the dish cupboard, and clean towels on dirty floors. I discovered mud and rocks in my bathroom sink, found myself playing the role of electrician because no one else knew how to fix a broken light fixture, and cleaned up chocolate pudding smears from too many places.

These things also make me smile, because I live in a family with six boys. And those things are just so.

I realized, once again, that my family needs me. They miss me when I am away, and not only because I can fix broken light fixtures and clean coffee pots. They need me because I'm the big sister. This is one of the reasons that I still live at home, and the reason that I choose to stay involved in my siblings' lives. I know they could get along without me— they have before. But right now, God has me here— in body and soul— and I wouldn't change a thing.

Where else do I get the chance to see change and be change, as I invest in six mighty men of valor and leadership? My influence is more visible in their lives than I— or they— would like to admit. Where else can I pour myself into two women as beautiful and precious, who will one day change time and history by their quiet confidence in God as they walk out His calling?

The oldest sister role is challenging, for sure. But here I am, and there they are, and these things don't change. So I fall on God's grace, and learn love and humility, and change the world from my home.

There is no place that I would rather be.

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