Friday, December 14, 2007

Musings on straight hair and stray hearts

I straightened my hair yesterday. While such a simple act might seem like—well, a simple act—to most people, it is always an “event” in my house because it never happens more than twice in a year. Feedback on my “new do” flows freely, and is surprisingly varied—

A brother—“Can you make it go back?”

A sister—“Sis, please curly your hair again—you’re scaring me.”

Mom—“Every time you walk through the kitchen I start laughing—you look so funny.”

The other sister— “You know, straight hair just really isn’t YOU.”

A coworker— “Oh my gosh, you look so hot! Straight hair makes you look so much older.”

Mom, in response to that coworker’s comment—“Oh, I thought just the opposite.”

Another brother—“Don’t do that again, okay?”

Dad—“It looks… cute.”

A third brother—“You know, I think it’s finally growing on me a bit. I mean, it’s not that bad.”

Varied feedback wasn’t the only thing that changed when the hot iron pressed out my curls. My mindset changed—in unexpected ways. I thought twice about what I wore, and consciously felt that straight hair changed my body shape; I walked differently and used my hands differently; I looked in the mirror more often and decided that today was a glasses day. I noticed and grew annoyed by mannerisms that I don’t usually posses.

I took a mental “step back” this afternoon and watched myself for a few minutes. I was not impressed with this “new Sarah.” How easily my head is turned by something as simple and shallow as a hairstyle.

Then I took another step back and observed myself as a whole—body, soul, and spirit. I was not impressed in this aspect, either. How easily my heart is turned by simple and shallow things, too. How quickly I leave the Lover of my Soul and become a lover of myself. How thoughtlessly I go from ardent pursuit of God to mediocre existence.

How quickly I change, and how hard it is to change back.

This I have against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen…— Rev. 4:4

I remember the deovotion of your youth, your love as a bride… My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken the fountain of living waters, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water. — Jer. 2:2, 13

Come, let us return to the Lord; for He has torn us, that He may heal us; He has struck us down, and He will bind us up… that we may live before Him. Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord; His going out is sure as the dawn; He will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth. —Hos. 6:1-3

So you, by the help of your God, return, hold fast to love and justice, and wait continually for your God. —Hos. 12:6

You will seek Me and find Me, when you seek Me with all your heart. —Jer. 29:13

The truth of God is stronger than my yearning soul, greater than my wavering flesh, and more passionate than every purpose I can imagine. And it triumphs in the midst of straight hair and straying hearts.


Melissa from church said...

I didn't even know it was you in the picture until I had read the blog!

Feeny Family said...

I enjoyed reading your blog, Sarah. Thanks for sharing.:-)

In Christ,
Melissa Feeny