Saturday, July 07, 2007

Fireflies and Faithfulness

Not too long ago Colin, Elsie, Jedi, and I caught fireflies. At least, we tried to. I wanted some shots of fireflies in a glass mason jar, and the kids volunteered to help me round up the little bugs. But there weren’t any fireflies out that night. We walked around the yard for a long time, but there was nothing to see except dark trees and a velvety sky.

At one point we stopped and I asked God to give us some fireflies. The kids joined right in, lifting earnest pleas heavenward. “Please, God, please help us to find some fireflies!” We looked up, and saw a small twinkle in the trees ahead. Elsie jumped up and down—“I knew it! I knew God answers prayer!” We only found two fireflies that night, and I didn’t get the shot I wanted, but we saw God show up and answer our prayers.

Several weeks later I sat in my parked car and cried hard, cried to God. Money was tight, my dreams were sinking, my heart was heavy, and God didn’t seem to care much. The more I asked for provision, the harder it was to bear my empty wallet. The more I asked for direction, the harder it was to surrender my dreams. Where are You, God? Can’t You make this easy? Can’t You just provide for me? You said You would be here. You said that You take pleasure in Your children’s success. Why don’t You answer me?

Suddenly I looked up. The trees ahead of me were full of fireflies, twinkling and flickering like little diamond lights amidst the leaves. Suddenly Elsie’s words came back to me— “I knew it! I knew God answers our prayers!” Yes, that is right. God is still faithful and faithfulness. Just because His provision is different, that doesn’t mean it is insufficient.

God just provided me with access of a whole bag of great camera lenses, since I can’t afford to purchase any more for myself. My laptop only has an 18GB hard drive, but at least I have a laptop. I only have one flash card, but it’s a good one. I only have one battery, but I have never lacked the juice to complete a shoot. I don’t have a car, but I have great parents who are willing to lend me their wheels when I need them. Yeah, sure, money is tight. But it completely redefines the term “need.”

My greatest need is to know my Jesus. Physical and material deficit opens the avenue for spiritual bounty. And fireflies that twinkle as they fulfill their purpose teach me that God is faithful, even when I can’t see His hand of blessing.

No comments: